Now it is my turn, my pleasure and my commitment to be there for her and with her, whatever it takes.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Jodean's Niece

We just returned from Austin a couple of days ago and I went to the funeral home website and watched the video of Jodean's service.  It was wonderful to watch and listen to Bengi and KatI Beth speak.  They reminded me of so many things I'd forgotten about Jodean.  I just enjoyed watching it, almost like I was there.  I left a condolence of a memory or two that came to mind after reading Kimi's stories on the website.

Hope you are okay,


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Jodean's Funeral

We had her funeral on Thursday March 28th.  It was a beautiful ceremony and it can be viewed at the bottom of her obituary:
Mom's funeral

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Jodean Passed

On Sunday morning March 24th I called Tim and told him he need to get to mom's bedside.  Tim's whole family came to say good-bye.

At 7:05 pm with Kati and I at her side, my Mom Mother and Friend passed from this world.

We were holding her hands and playing hymns when her nurse "Grace" walked in and got goose bumps.  She stayed with us and was a sweet person.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Hospice for Mom

Wednesday 20th of March the Director of the Nursing home, approached me about putting mom on Hospice.

I had called the "Hospice - Circle of Love" on March 6th and they told me that she didn't qualify.  I asked if they had the reports on her renal failure from Dr. VJ.  I would have to sign a release to get the files sent to "Circle of Love".  I was getting up and the Director of Nurses came in the room and asked about Hospice and what was holding them up.  I told her my story.  She asked if I cared, I said NO and she said that Ross Health Care was very good about the pain management and the doctor had already approved mom.  So I said lets call them.  They were there within an hour to sign papers.   Shortly after signing, mom got a new bed with air mattress for bed sores.

The nurses have been up everyday.  Sometimes twice.  They have my mom now out of pain.  It is very painful to watch your mom.

Signs of Approaching Death

Hospice Patients Alliance - Signs of Approaching Death

When confronted with approaching death, many of us wonder when
exactly will death occur. Many of us ask the question, "How
much time is left?" This can often be a difficult question
to answer. The dying do not always cooperate with the predictions
of the doctors, nurses or others who tell family members or
patients how much time is left.

Hospice staff have frequently observed that even the
predictions by physicians about the length of time from the
original diagnosis till death is often inaccurate. Many families
report that "the doctor told us he [the patient] only had so
much time left, and he's lived much longer than that."
... or a similar story. Statistical averages do not tell us
exactly how long a particular patient has to live; they can only
serve as a general guideline or point of reference.

Although statistical averages do not help much in an
individual case, there are specific signs of approaching death
which may be observed, and which do indicate that death is
approaching nearer. Each individual patient is different. Not all
individuals will show all of these signs, nor are all of the
signs of approaching death always present in every case.

Depending on the type of terminal illness and the metabolic
condition of the patient, different signs and symptoms arise. An
experienced physician or hospice nurse can often explain these
signs and symptoms to you. If you have questions about changes in
your loved one's condition, ask your hospice nurse for an
explanation, that is one of the reasons she is serving you.

There are two phases which arise prior to the actual
time of death: the "pre-active phase of dying," and the
"active phase of dying." On average, the preactive
phase of dying may last approximately two weeks, while on
average, the active phase of dying lasts about three

We say "on average" because there are
<strong>often</strong> exceptions to the rule. Some patients have
exhibited signs of the preactive phase of dying for a month or
longer, while some patients exhibit signs of the active phase of
dying for two weeks. Many hospice staff have been fooled into
thinking that death was about to occur, when the patient had
unusually low blood pressure or longer periods of pausing in the
breathing rhythym. However, some patients with these symptoms can
suddenly recover and live a week, a month or even longer. Low
blood pressure alone or long periods of pausing in the breathing
(apnea) are not reliable indicators of imminent death in all
cases. God alone knows for sure when death will occur.
Signs of the preactive phase of dying:

# increased restlessness, confusion, agitation, inability to stay content in one position and insisting on changing positions frequently (exhausting family and caregivers)
# withdrawal from active participation in social activities

# increased periods of sleep, lethargy

# decreased intake of food and liquids

# beginning to show periods of pausing in the breathing (apnea) whether awake or sleeping

# patient reports seeing persons who had already died

# patient states that he or she is dying

# patient requests family visit to settle unfinished business and tie up loose ends

# inability to heal or recover from wounds or infections

# increased swelling (edema) of either the extremities or the entire body

Signs of the Active Phase of Dying

# inability to arouse patient at all (coma) or, ability to only arouse patient with great effort but patient quickly returns to severely unresponsive state (semi-coma)

# severe agitation in patient, hallucinations, acting crazy and not in patient's normal manner or personality

# much longer periods of pausing in the breathing (apnea)

# dramatic changes in the breathing pattern including apnea, but also including very rapid breathing or cyclic changes in the patterns of breathing (such as slow progressing to very fast and then slow again, or shallow progressing to very deep breathing while also changing rate of breathing to very fast and then slow)

# other very abnormal breathing patterns

# severely increased respiratory congestion or fluid buildup in lungs

# inability to swallow any fluids at all (not taking any food by mouth voluntarily as well)

# patient states that he or she is going to die

# patient breathing through wide open mouth continuously and no longer can speak even if awake

# urinary or bowel incontinence in a patient who was not incontinent before

# marked decrease in urine output and darkening color of urine or very abnormal colors (such as red or brown)

# blood pressure dropping dramatically from patient's normal blood pressure range (more than a 20 or 30 point drop)

# systolic blood pressure below 70, diastolic blood pressure below 50

# patient's extremities (such as hands, arms, feet and legs) feel very cold to touch

# patient complains that his or her legs/feet are numb and cannot be felt at all

# cyanosis, or a bluish or purple coloring to the patients arms and legs, especially the feet and hands)

# patient's body is held in rigid unchanging position

# jaw drop; the patient's jaw is no longer held straight and may drop to the side their head is lying towards

Although all patients do not show all of these signs, many of these signs will be seen in some patients. The reason for the tradition of &quot;keeping a vigil&quot; when someone is dying is that we really don't know exactly when death will occur until it is obviously happening. If you wish to &quot;be there&quot;
with your loved one when death occurs, keeping a vigil at the bedside is part of the process.

Always remember that your loved one can often hear you even up till the very end, even though he or she cannot respond by speaking. Your loving presence at the bedside can be a great expression of your love for your loved one and help him to feel calmer and more at peace at the time of death.

If you have questions about any of the changing signs or symptoms appearing in your loved one, ask your hospice nurse to explain them to you.